Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

Most of the time when I write about something, I'm past being in the throes of that which I'm writing about.  This one is an exception.  I feel enveloped in the warmth of this song for a few days now and do not know when I might be out of it.  So pardon me if I'm a bit too flowery in describing this.

I like it because...

This feels more like a musical poem than a song.  Don't ask me what the difference is.  Because it is like a poem, I feel reluctant to describe why I like it.  In poetry, description also results in partial destruction.  It is like, peeling the petals of a flower to see what is inside that might be the cause of the beauty.  You get my drift.

Yet, I'll say a couple of things that particularly attracted me to the song.

First the way she brings the words to life.  Beyond the poetic meaning, her utterance of each word makes me think of a droplet of emotion forming inside her heart and slowly detaching itself from her lips.

The thematic lines "I don't know life/love/cloud really at all" shows a sense of honesty, even if you know that she doesn't mean exactly that.  To me it is an acknowledgement of one's own doubt and an openness to accept whatever it is that life/love/clouds are.  It is possible that others may interpret these lines and the song as a whole as being a sad song.  I personally do not at all.

The background music takes you to wide open spaces in twilight.  Vast skies and picturesque clouds. That Saxophone that barely breaks out of the background after the second stanza glows into a brief streak of lightning in the vast skies towards the end.  It is very brief, but intense enough to burn into your being.

The overall feeling you get is as if the song can bypass all your external senses and can directly touch the emotional centers of your brain.

Oh, the pauses between the words.  What can one say about them...poetry or beauty. Choose one.

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Lyrics

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air

and feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.

So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,

from up and down, and still somehow

it's cloud illusions I recall.

I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way that you feel

as every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go

and if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,

from give and take, and still somehow

it's love's illusions that I recall.

I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say "I love you" right out loud,

dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.

Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,

from win and lose, and still somehow

it's life's illusions I recall.

I really don't know life at all.

Nath Ha Maza - Great Marathi Song

The below three videos are three different renditions of the same song by different people. Go ahead and listen to these,  If you loved them and felt the urge to listen to them again and again, read on to share my own pleasure of these songs!

I positioned the songs in the sequence that I heard them over decades.  The first one, by Pt. Kumar Gandharv has always been the standard for me.  Only after I watched "Bal Gandharv" movie recently (second one is a scene from the movie) and understood the greatness of Bal Gandharv.  The third version is actually by Bal Gandharv.

I like it because...

Typically, when I listen to a song and love it, it never elicits similar response when someone else sings the same song.  Here, that is not the case.  Though arguably Bal Gandharv's should be the most authentic - I love all three versions.  I can see the greater skill, ease and control on the part of Bal Gandharv and Kuma Gandharv, but the movie version sung by (Varada Godbole and Anand Bhate) brought out the beauty in its own way!  In the end, the song is so beautiful, all comparisons become meaningless.

Natya Sangeet in Marathi (the genre of which this song is but one example) and the similar genre of Padya Natakalu in Telugu are a particular favorite of mine.  They both are so rooted in classical music and allow for extempore exploration.  The dramatic background of the story helps to provide the context for the song.  But it is obvious that the story and acting are a distant second to music and singing.  In a sense these are closest to the Opera style of music.  Some of the stalwarts of these genres, including Bal Gandharv, Raghuramayya of Telugu, have such strong voices and beautiful gamakas, they defined the genre for decades.  I can hear criticism of this music as being similar to 'mere circus'.  For those that hold this opinion, I'll respectfully suggest that they may not have experienced the thrill of a circus.  Music may not be defined by it, but I don't see why one important facet of music cannot emulate the beauty of a circus!

If you crave even more versions of this song, try the following links from Google Music (Unfortunately, you'll need a subscription to Google Music service, to be able to access these)

Bal Gandharv Movie Audio Track of Nath ha : Full Version (uninterrupted by the dialog)

N.Rajam's rendition (Violin in Gayaki style, a very beautify effect in deed)

Bal Gandharv Full Movie (A very well done biopic of Bal Gandharv.  This version has the rightly timed sub-titles, for those that don't understand marathi)