Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

Most of the time when I write about something, I'm past being in the throes of that which I'm writing about.  This one is an exception.  I feel enveloped in the warmth of this song for a few days now and do not know when I might be out of it.  So pardon me if I'm a bit too flowery in describing this.

I like it because...

This feels more like a musical poem than a song.  Don't ask me what the difference is.  Because it is like a poem, I feel reluctant to describe why I like it.  In poetry, description also results in partial destruction.  It is like, peeling the petals of a flower to see what is inside that might be the cause of the beauty.  You get my drift.

Yet, I'll say a couple of things that particularly attracted me to the song.

First the way she brings the words to life.  Beyond the poetic meaning, her utterance of each word makes me think of a droplet of emotion forming inside her heart and slowly detaching itself from her lips.

The thematic lines "I don't know life/love/cloud really at all" shows a sense of honesty, even if you know that she doesn't mean exactly that.  To me it is an acknowledgement of one's own doubt and an openness to accept whatever it is that life/love/clouds are.  It is possible that others may interpret these lines and the song as a whole as being a sad song.  I personally do not at all.

The background music takes you to wide open spaces in twilight.  Vast skies and picturesque clouds. That Saxophone that barely breaks out of the background after the second stanza glows into a brief streak of lightning in the vast skies towards the end.  It is very brief, but intense enough to burn into your being.

The overall feeling you get is as if the song can bypass all your external senses and can directly touch the emotional centers of your brain.

Oh, the pauses between the words.  What can one say about them...poetry or beauty. Choose one.

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Lyrics

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air

and feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.

So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,

from up and down, and still somehow

it's cloud illusions I recall.

I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way that you feel

as every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go

and if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,

from give and take, and still somehow

it's love's illusions that I recall.

I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say "I love you" right out loud,

dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.

Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,

from win and lose, and still somehow

it's life's illusions I recall.

I really don't know life at all.

Nath Ha Maza - Great Marathi Song

The below three videos are three different renditions of the same song by different people. Go ahead and listen to these,  If you loved them and felt the urge to listen to them again and again, read on to share my own pleasure of these songs!

I positioned the songs in the sequence that I heard them over decades.  The first one, by Pt. Kumar Gandharv has always been the standard for me.  Only after I watched "Bal Gandharv" movie recently (second one is a scene from the movie) and understood the greatness of Bal Gandharv.  The third version is actually by Bal Gandharv.

I like it because...

Typically, when I listen to a song and love it, it never elicits similar response when someone else sings the same song.  Here, that is not the case.  Though arguably Bal Gandharv's should be the most authentic - I love all three versions.  I can see the greater skill, ease and control on the part of Bal Gandharv and Kuma Gandharv, but the movie version sung by (Varada Godbole and Anand Bhate) brought out the beauty in its own way!  In the end, the song is so beautiful, all comparisons become meaningless.

Natya Sangeet in Marathi (the genre of which this song is but one example) and the similar genre of Padya Natakalu in Telugu are a particular favorite of mine.  They both are so rooted in classical music and allow for extempore exploration.  The dramatic background of the story helps to provide the context for the song.  But it is obvious that the story and acting are a distant second to music and singing.  In a sense these are closest to the Opera style of music.  Some of the stalwarts of these genres, including Bal Gandharv, Raghuramayya of Telugu, have such strong voices and beautiful gamakas, they defined the genre for decades.  I can hear criticism of this music as being similar to 'mere circus'.  For those that hold this opinion, I'll respectfully suggest that they may not have experienced the thrill of a circus.  Music may not be defined by it, but I don't see why one important facet of music cannot emulate the beauty of a circus!

If you crave even more versions of this song, try the following links from Google Music (Unfortunately, you'll need a subscription to Google Music service, to be able to access these)

Bal Gandharv Movie Audio Track of Nath ha : Full Version (uninterrupted by the dialog)

N.Rajam's rendition (Violin in Gayaki style, a very beautify effect in deed)

Bal Gandharv Full Movie (A very well done biopic of Bal Gandharv.  This version has the rightly timed sub-titles, for those that don't understand marathi)

Righteous imploration

Some songs capture you for a period of time, bring you under their spell and after considerable time, leave you alone, having left a mark.  You are grateful for their memories and will cherish them.  Then there are some other songs that never leave you.  Years may have passed between successive hearings, but the next time you hear, the rush of the feeling is as strong and intense as it was when you first heard it.  Insaan bano from Baiju Bawra is one such for me.

I like it because...
The first things about the song that I feel in love with are the intensity of feeling in Rafi's voice and the well known color of the raga (something close to Shubhapantuvarali or Mia Ki Todi) that paints a picture of pathos in the most compelling way.

But only upon hearing the lyrics closely, watching the movie for the context - I fully appreciated how much the meaning and the melody combined to such an extent as to create a cathartic reaction almost every time I hear it.  For a minute one can believe that music has the capacity to disarm the most basic evil impulses.

What remained with me forever is the fact that the song/the context/ the picturization captured the essence of what makes possible a true change.  The message was not one of righteous indignation  - but of imploration.  It is saying: 'You are better than this' without any of 'I'm better than you'

Haunting and understated

Not much needs to be said about the following song...but I will say a little anyway. I am stuck on this song for the last couple of weeks. It reminds me of warm nights of Calcutta cooled by quick thunderstorms. For a brief time, I was thinking about what else, besides the notes, of a song are needed to reproduce it perfectly. Thoughts were running in the direction of, is it possible to digitize a voice signature, inflections and all. But songs like this put a rest (or want one to put to rest) to all such contemplations and make you feel the soul.

I like it because of the understated nature of singing that is essential to Mukhesh's way of singing. I heard this song several years ago and remembered it well enough to continue to sing to myself. Over years, my memory faded and I substituted my own way of singing. Now, when I hear back, I realized how I was complicating every simple turn and fading of phrases. Two particular areas are: When he ends the first phrase: Hum ne tujhko pyar kiya hai jitna, that jitna descends rather suddenly into a soft crackle of a broken heart, rather than follow the line dictated by the raga (Desh I think). Same can be said about: samne tere youn hus hus ke, that hus hus ke tempts you so much to sing it with an extra flare - but not giving to that temptation is the genius of it. Well...just ignore everything and listen to the song. Hope you like it.

Ali Farka Touré-Allah Uya

Some songs grow on you over time while others become an instant hit.  This one belonged to the second category for me.  Yesterday I heard a small clipping of this song as an interlude between two programs on NPR.  Those 10 seconds were enough for me to fall in love with the tune.  Once I heard the whole, it didn't disappoint.  In the last 24 hours I must have listened to the song about 15-20 times - carrying my iPad whereever I went, including grocery shopping.

I like it because...this song, as many others of its genre, seem to contain something of an indian melody but with a unique african warmth that is very pleasing.  It sounds like it is based on some raga - though I can't tell which one.  The simple and beautiful melody, the repetition,Touré's dexterous guitar playing and his laid-back voice made for an intoxicating effect.  If you caught me swaying to his music while driving or walking, you'd understand why, if you also listen to it.  No wonder that Touré (1939-2006) is a world famous artist, though I just discovered him now.  He was noticed on the world stage in 1994 and was ranked in the top 100 artists of all time by Rollingstone.


I don't have a clue about the lyrics or the meaning of the song, but having Allah in it makes me think it is in praise of God.  I must have some strange genes to be this influenced by songs that praise God without actually believing in Him.